Claire Demmer

Piese de Claire Demmer

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A Cut Above the Rest: n this one act farce for stage, Snake and Harry, con artists, have the steal of a lifetime – the famous Devonport diamonds, owned by the late Amelia Devonport. All they have to do is discover where they are hidden, when they attend her funeral. The only problem is – where the hell are they? And who else is in on the deal?
A Snitch in Time: When May accidentally discovers she can see hidden time travellers, and rescues Anne Frank who has been brought to our time, she is immediately recruited to “The Agency” – the top secret government agency that controls time travel. Her mission: To go back in time and alter events or retrieve famous people who otherwise would have died. From JFK to Anne Boleyn, to Nazi Germany – it all turns out well. Until it doesn’t. When May and her partner, Roger return with Anne Boleyn, the world has changed. A leak in time has occurred – one that forever alters the fabric of reality. The Nazi’s won.
Death of a Gerbil: Meet Darren. He is an ordinary fellow, with an ordinary job, in an ordinary office, in an ordinary building. He is also dead. He does not know that he is dead……yet. Or that Heaven has lost his paperwork. Or why he got hit by a Double Decker bus. He is about to find out that once you’re dead, things can only go down from there….
Don’t say you’re Harry: In this two act, full length farce script, Snake and Harry, two professional diamond thieves gatecrash the funeral of Miss Amelia Devonport, who was the late owner of the fabulous Devonport diamonds. Snake and Harry plan to impersonate relatives of the late Miss Devonport in order to get information on the diamonds and where they could be hidden in the old Devonport mansion. Then they plan to steal the famous stones.
Shriek! The Fairytale: Once upon a time in a land far, far away there lived a beautiful Princess. Unbeknownst to her (but beknownst to us), a wicked witch with a beast of a sidekick plans to take over the Kingdom at the Royal Ball held in the Princess’s honor to celebrate her sixteenth birthday. Unbeknownst to the wicked witch (but beknownst to us, of course), THE wickeder witchplans to also take over the magical kingdom at the Royal Ball, using only a magic mirror and a bottle of tomato sauce (ketchup.)
Sleeping Beauty: Pantomime. It’s a modern day Sleeping Beauty, complete with an IT nerd, a heroine who is a member of Greenpeace and a deliciously wicked Augusta Stern, fired from Castletech, who plans to poison the lovely Aurora on her sixteenth birthday. There is, of course, a Dame, who writes the gossip, a tongue in cheek script and well known fun songs from all eras, for all to enjoy. A typical traditional pantomime format and lots of fun for the whole family. Enjoy Sleeping Beauty the pantomime.
Snow White and the Seven Ugly Sisters: Once upon a time, there was a wicked queen with an evil sidekick of a magic mirror. She was also the most beautiful woman in the world. Unfortunately this didn’t bode well for anyone else who was well, even remotely good looking. When the Princess Snow White blossoms into beauty, and the mirror informs the queen that she is shortly (well next Tuesday to be exact) to move to second place, the queen decides that someone else needs to take drastic action, and she sends her huntsman to kill the princess and bring back her spleen. Since she doesn’t actually know what a spleen is, Snow White and the Huntsman fool the queen, and Snow White runs away into the deep forest.
Stirred, not Shaken…: James Band brings his new fiance home to meet his parents for the very first time. James is desperate to make a good impression on the very conservatively reared Mary. Unfortunately, the dead body in the kitchen rather complicates matters…. A prizewinning dark comedy about getting rid of dead bodies, kidnapping and martini’s!
The Call Centre: n this fifteen minute comedy sketch, a very nervous and not all that bright trainee is being put their their training to prepare them for the big world of declining insurance claims. In fact, there doesn’t actually seem to be a situation in which the superbudget insurance company does approve a claim, as an unsuspecting client is about to find out…
The rat trap: Lord Arthur Harringway has a tricky problem. He’s just been given twenty four hours to live. Naturally this presents somewhat of a conundrum to him. The most pressing part of the conundrum is his annoying fortune. Because he has to leave it to somebody. But to whom? Not one of his relations is at all nice. In fact, the thought of leaving his money to any of them makes him turn in his grave (well nearly.) His relations are so odious that he devises a plan to trick them into thinking that he’s going to give all his money to them and punish them once and for all for all the trouble they’ve caused him in this large cast comedy farce.
The Wizard of Odd: A modern day Dorothy living in London is transported to the land of Odd, where she meets the fabulous dame of the North and has to defeat the wicked witch of the west with the help of the brainless Scarecrow, Tin Man who lost his heart to the wicked witch, and the Lion who has lost his Mojo. This is to prevent the catastrophic events that the wicked witch has planned in which she will take over the rule of Odd, and do away with the Wiz, all with the help of the ruby slippers. A fun filled musical version of the traditional movie, complete with Broadway Musical numbers that will get the cast and audience tapping their feet.
Waiting: A short snappy comedy set in the queue where two people, a slightly nerdy guy and a prim, but ordinary woman are waiting to go to the toilet in a crowded shopping mall. Why do woman take so long to go to the loo? What are they really doing inside the cubicles? A dry comedy that takes the battle of the sexes to infinity and beyond.
You do love me, don’t you?: Peta-Ann brings the love of her life, Leon home to meet her family for the first time. Her parents, Robert and Glenda are naturally skeptical about a boy Peta swears is “the one” when she has only known Leon for a few short weeks. Leon is everything a girl would dream of in a guy – polite, attentive and extremely loving towards Peta. So loving, in fact, that he doesn’t want anything to get in the way of their happiness…..
You Wanted to see me?: Roger is a guy with a problem. A problem that’s recently become more and more noticeable to his line manager. What is it? Well -in the past two months he’s been late for work pretty much three days out of five. For a number of reasons. The usual ones – his alarm didn’t go off and his car wouldn’t start. And…those that are a little less usual, such as having a flock of giant bunnies gallop past his window one morning and being mugged for his travel card by a man in a dress. Not to mention the dognapping for half a million pounds he was recently involved in. The thing is – every single one of these reasons is true. Completely true. And today he’s being called to the big boss’s office to have a little meeting about it in this comedy sketch about being late for work.

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