"From leaf to leaf
Is an endless distance"Mihai Ursachi
THE FISHERMAN: Welcome among us! We are from the northern territory and we have found this people. In our dreams the trout jumps on the bank. Our settlements are neither towns nor villages and our tongue has not even a bit of saliva on it. We live, but there is nothing to write home about... We have a cornsnacks factory... We sell... Your name is Andrew, isn't it?
ANDREW: Yes. I would like a drink!
THE FISHERMAN: Go and bring him a beer. It's cold, but it warms your body up. The charm is the more one drinks, the thirst is bigger. One can drink a lot of water after so much beer...! It's so nice.
ANDREW: If I may, I would like to drink only water.
THE FISHERMAN: Of course you may, but we have to find a glass first. Do you have a glass, Simon?
(The third goes out from the spotlight raising his shoulders.)
THE FISHERMAN: Well, we have a lot of original ideas...! Recently, I had the idea to climb up the trees, all of us, and made some photos. Do you get the idea!? A whole forest with a lot of people up there among the branches, like a fruiterer's. The short one says we can live up there forever. He's short and weak, looks like an idiot but he has some huge ideas... let see...
ANDREW: Your glass of water, mister!
THE FISHERMAN: Do you have an idea now, Simo?
ANDREW: I do!
THE FISHERMAN: Well, shoot it! (Casting glances, then, lower voice.) This is warm, hot, in this moment she is getting up, fresh, from the brain... First hand. Danger!
ANDREW: For drinking we can use paper-glasses instead of glassy-glasses and after drinking we can play with them, little boats on the river! (Happy.)
THE FISHERMAN: See? (Caressing Simons head-top.) A lot of ideas. Do you like the water? It's from the river. Rain water! (Showing his arms towards the sky.) We drink the rains !!
ANDREW: But, what do we want to build here? Why do we need an architect?
THE FISHERMAN: It's not a big deal! A sort of coop where we can take shelter during the bad weather! A cage, a pigsty, but bigger, a kind of cottage, but higher, with floors and towers. A house. Something like a castle, a big chalet, like Pentagon for instance. You know, a sort of a city in a single building. The whole people under one roof.
ANDREW: I've heard they have just discovered the orange's chemical structure. Is it true?
THE FISHERMAN: Leave us alone. . . don't you hear what am I speaking with mister architect? You, Simo, hey. Hey!
SIMON (leaving): I wonder if the orange has an inner architecture.
THE FISHERMAN: Let him alone, don't pay any attention. He's an original human with ideas, but often he's out of the question. Well, can you build that coop?
ANDREW: I don't know exactly what's your favorite...
THE FISHERMAN (in a hurry): It's identically for me!
ANDREW: With undergrounds, with towers, in steel and glass, in ferro-concrete, river-stone, marble...
THE FISHERMAN (in a hurry): Anyhow identically, identically, identically, identically. .. We need a shelter, we need a place where we can sleep by night, something very simple... so... to the sky. A kind of Babel, a Babel-Sleeping-Room, with a Babel-Living-Room and a Babel-Bath-Room and a Babel-Hall-Room... Something simple, a tower where we can keep captive our wives, where our children can playa game or something. . .
(The architect sits on an armchair nearby. Feels something there and pulls out a flat cat, drops it aside.)
THE FISHERMAN: Sorry, I forgot the cat. In fact, it was for her sake, I was thinking of building the construction. (Takes the cat, twists it, then drops it aside.) But now... (Bends his head then doing the sign of the cross in the air.) We can speak about something else. Sincerely, this affair with the building work has been boring me these days. (Low voice.) And no other solution. Do you like angling?
ANDREW: Yes, it's a big relaxation for me. A huge one! For good and all!
THE FISHERMAN: I like to angle for chub. It's a predator, mister. He bites for frog, fish-bait, worm-fish. Especially for frog. (Looking at the cat.) But you, what do vou bite, darling? (Laughing.) Yes, death, the death...I should make children with death if she came to me. Yeah, yeah... The chub has a spectacular bite: one can feel it on the finger, one can say it's a shark, a barracuda. Godzilla. . .
ANDREW: I usually angle to the bottom. I don't like to stay all the day long with a rod in my hand. I put it on a dry branch, I settle a flower on the rope or even some little bells on the rod's top and I stand still. I read something or merely I stare the water. The sky reflected in water has an...
THE FISHERMAN: I know, I know, I've angled in the plash too, but I rarely caught something. On the river I walk a lot, on the rocks, slip on them, cross the water, it's a sport. I've caught a lot of fish. Especially for her. (Indicating the dead cat.) But now, she's dead, maybe't will be more quiet and still, we'd to the pond fishing for carp with corn-mush. With corn-mush is easy. Yes... (Dreaming.) With corn-mush... The barbel bites the worm. It has white flash, like trout flesh.
ANDREW: I don't like fish very much. I like mushrooms. Often, I let the fishing rod on a limb and walk into the wood.
THE FISHERMAN (interested): And do you know them all? Do you really know which are poisoned?
ANDREW: I don't. I have a dog, after I cook the mushrooms I verify with it. Whether it vomits or has cramps I don't eat. If everything's OK, I go.
THE FISHERMAN: Oh, very interesting. It's a kind of mushroomsmetre. What is the name of the dog?
THE FISHERMAN: Hm! How easy things come together! My angling with your mushrooms! Very interesting! I think we can go someday by the river.
ANDREW: Of course, of course! I've just told you. It's a great relaxation. A huge one. Outstanding. For good and all. Nought!
THE FISHERMAN: We can go there and strike them. Pieces and pieces... Handle-fish... stuff (Enthusiastically.) Barbels with pebbles among their fins. Will be nice to catch a fish, and try to catch it self up on the pond lid, and then you can pull it out with the, the…in its fins, and then the whole water flows out just like trom a bath-tub. Danger man, danger! It's clear, we go and strike them. With worms, universal worms. A half-inch screw-nut at the end of the rope, three littl'e hooks on it and few playful worms and we strike them. Pieces and pieces...
ANDREW (looks his agitation): And where shall we put them?
THE FISHERMAN: Where? For what have I called you? We shall make a fountain. Now, as the cat is dead, we can make a fountain!
ANDREW: And are you going to drink the water trom there, on the fish?
THE FISHERMAN: What's the problem?
ANDREW: Well, the fish make a lot of things in the water... They make (embarrassed, trying with gesture) ...a lot of things...
THE FISHERMAN: Then, what, are we going to kill them?
THE FISHERMAN: Right, we are going to kill them. Then, we put them into the fountain and they may stay still over there and do nothin', Is O.K. (Calling.) Simoooo...!
(The architect stops talking. Enters Simon.)
THE FISHERMAN: Bring the plans!
(Simon goes out. Then, goes in bringing some big paper rolls. He lays them in front ofthe others.)
THE FISHERMAN: Well, here are the wings. . . I've thought is better with three wings, so it can fly on the back.. and here's the cab, with a wiping-hand for the rain..
ANDREW: What the hell's this fountain?
(The Fisherman is staring the plans, rubbing his nape.)
THE FISHERMAN: You're right. These are the plans for somethiug else. Maybe. I think so. Simon, I've told you to bring the secret plans. The fountain plans.
ANDREW: Hm, yeah... (Finally make up his mind)
THE FISHERMAN: This one is the ideal woman's plan. You know, after a time every man makes his model. The Turks, the Japanese, the Americans, the Albanians... all the people. So do we ... The girl's name's Simon, like that friend of mine. He, too, is so tender and stupid. He's a shameful guy, but has a good behavior (laughing). It was the project for an airplane, really, but it was a secret, and that's why I told you about the ideal woman. You know..
ANDREW: Here is like at lunatics!
THE FISHERMAN: Exactly! Exactly! Exactly!
(Enters Simon with some papers. The Fisherman is staring at him and speaks.)
THE FISHERMAN: Formerly I thought is like the animal life. I saw a monkey gathering oranges. It had one in the mouth, two in the right hand and with the left hand it hung it self at the branch. It was desperate. I thought, if the monkey would have pockets he could be a human. Human being is a monkey with pockets. This is why I was very fond of the cat. I liked her. Effectively, we became friends, and, how can I say... I say... we loved each other. I thought, it is like in animal life. But now, you're right. It's exactly your words: lunatics! (Simon is finishing to lay the plans.) Yeah... just look! Please look! (Indicating something an the plans with a knife he takes fram Simon s girdle.) Half in the air, half on the ground. It's very interesting, in fact it is a horizontal fountain, the first one all over the world. (Simon stares carefully the plans and then turns in front of The Fisherman. The Fisherman coughs and says): Yeah... in fact, practically is the classic model, vertical with a light horizontal ply. Like all the fountains, isn't it? (Laughs.) Here we have a man turning a wheel and instead of the bucket is a thirsty woman going down into the depth. (He shows with the knife the function of the gearing) She goes down, takes water, is pulled out, reckless, embraces the man and then they make... (The Fisherman sticks the knife into the papers in front of him.) Do you get it?
ANDREW: I never worked in such materials. The architecture doesn't permit...
THE FISHERMAN: But Manole, he could, couldn't he? He was allowed, wasn't he?
ANDREW: Master Manole, is a legend…
THE FISHERMAN: Well...?
ANDREW: Well, there ain't anywhere materials called Anne and at the same time being woman.
THE FISHERMAN: In conclusion, we cannot find something like this. This construction cannot be made. Hey, look! (Happy.) Hey! (A girl is walking down the road ) Hey, come on! (The girl is coming ) What are you doin' here? What's ye' name?
THE FISHERMAN: Godette... who?
GODETTE: Godette... it's good enough!
THE FISHERMAN: What a beautiful name! What a beautiful name! Come on, wanna show ye somethin'. Something special, only for you. Danger. Effectively danger! .
GODETTE: Sorry, I don't have the time. Have to go to my grandpa, to bring him the medicines and some diet food.
TIlE FISHERMAN: Namely. . .
ANDREW: You are too inquisitive, ain't ye? And now you are going to say that architecture is very interesting and to ask why the old people must eat when they have a stomachache!
THE FISHERMAN: You're right, you're right. I'm curious, damn it. . . I'm curious, man, god damn, I'd like to see what Godette has there under her blouse. The apples of cognition? (Laughs ) One can bite in them with no fear of losing the paradise.
(Doubtfully, Godette stares at Andrew while The Fisherman, surreptitiously, looks at Simon making a sign that means, "we are going to kill him". Simon goes out. After a while he returns, in the shadow, with a big executioner axe. The Fisherman studies tile plans. Andrew takes Godette by her arm pulling her aside.)
ANDREW: Take care, they are very dangerous.
GODETTE: They, dangerous? What's the idea? They are nice guys. Look at him how he's studying: is a clever guy. . . But, why are you so attentive to me?
ANDREW: I don't know. Seems to be natural. No, in fact, sincerely, I've been dreaming you for a long time. I knew I would meet you someday. . .
GODETTE: Sooo, accidentally, in a landscape like this, an occasion like this... accosted by a mister with a knife in his hand and one that just. .. Andrew, this is your dream...!? How romantic...
ANDREW: Do you know my name?
GODETTE: What do you think, in those dreams, do I really exist? I know it from this. From that place! From dreams. I love your imagination! I walk down in your imagination, as would be some silky places. ..
ANDREW: Thus, were you real, weren't you?
GODETTE: No. I'm real now here. There I had - if you can understand - a certain degree of reality: I was relying on you. Not now! Do you understand?
ANDREW: All these things are not important. I'm happy to see you. I'm happy you really exist. Are you a little sad, or I am wrong?
GODETTE: I don't know.. . Maybe. Many times I look into the future and I'm suddenly sad.
ANDREW: What do you think, is it possible a destiny for us both?… together...
GODETTE: No, I don't think that. We'd be together, I know that. But I don't know if this it's all right.
ANDREW: But who can interfere? They? (A gesture over his shoulder )
GODETTE: I don't know.. I don't know... I don't understand very well.. There are too much.. facts.. movements... don't see very well, the image is confused... foggy... Don't think of the future! Is foolish!
ANDREW: O.K., I agree. Let stay together. Talk a little. We have to know each other, looking at each other, laughing with them, of them... Most of them are ridiculous, absurd.. Let stay together.
GODETTE: I cannot decide myself. My grandpa is very powerful and influent. If I disobey him, he destroys us. Do you believe I can stay here against his will? Do you believe I can deceive him?
ANDREW: Let's run away, let's go together!
GODETTE: What's this, away? Don't be silly! I've just told you he's influent. I don't know... Some day he'll die. I'll inherit with all his goodness and generosity...
ANDREW: If he's good and generous why doesn't he let you come with me? Do you want to?
GODETTE (stares him): Yes, I think will be all right. I don't' know. I don't know. Let the things where they are. We'll meet again. Sleep well. I'll find you in dreams. It's strange, but the real realm of dreams seems to be more solid for us...
GODETTE: Psss... I have to go! I must! Be patient! (Kisses his cheeks, turns to The Fisherman )
GODETTE: What are you doing here?
THE FISHERMAN: We are planing a swimming pool. Do you like swimming? Do you like to bath? Do you like the nature? The sun? Sea? Beach? Fanta? The waves? Richard Gere? (Godette can't answer ) Yes, yes, of course you like all that is wet, warm, soft, sweet, blue, flat, tender, with teeth. ..
ANDREW (worrying): Sorry, but you speak for yourself. Let the girl alone. Don't you see?
(Godette studies the papers. Meanwhile the Fisherman bends to Andrew)
THE FISHERMAN (secretly): We'll strike her, man! Danger! Stuff. Pieces, pieces, pieces. (Strikes his palm, like for the carving ) We put her handles. It works, believe me. This one bites first. Danger! We have the fountain, man, what do you think!? Look here. Pssss...
GODETTE (with candor): It's too little, your swimmingpool...
THE FISHERMAN: It's only the plan, miss only the plan...I've just sent Simon to bring the meter to take your measurements and to...
GODETTE: It's too vertical, too deep. I like to swim in silent, flat and whitish waters. You've done a plan with a deep and cold water-eye to swim in it. Sorry, but it's stupid. As if you want to make me a pickle.
THE FISHERMAN: No, don't be in a hurry! Wait for a moment! (Looks toward left side where Simon is waiting with the axe ) We'll be back. We'll remake all.
GODETTE: I'm leaving. I'll be back. I'm in a harry now. Wait for me. I'll be back. I hope you'll show me something interesting. Something tempting and then I'll remain with you. (Leaves )
(The Fisherman makes a sign to Simon. Simon is raising the axe, and strikes exactly behind her back, because Godette makes another step. He s raising again the axe and strikes. Exactly behind her back. The same movement again. Godette goes out and Simon comes back, helpless, tired, disappointed)
THE FISHERMAN: I've confided in you, you... unicorn! (Angry) I've beent raining you up for this, I've made you. I've washed you, combed you... (Makes a gesture with his hand, disgusted ) Go and put the object back, it's on the stock. (Simon goes out ) We have to make this fountain, we can't fail. I think is better to put an animal instead of a woman. Maybe is like in the animal life. (Thinking ) A ferret. Yes! If it is an animal life a ferret is perfect.
ANDREW: Do what you want to do, I can't help you. I didn't study so much architecture for an animal swing. It's a big difference between Michael and Michaelson, Spur and Hotspur, Abraham and Abramovich, between Manole and... well... I'll wait for Godette. You know where I live. Bye-bye.
THE FISHERMAN: Bye-bye. (Overhis shoulder, remaining with the knife in his hand over the plans, mumbling, and meanwhile the light is fading slowly.) The ferret goes down, drinks water, the wheel turns slowly wrapping up the rope, pulls inside the ferret and the man kisses her, drinks water... and... and... (Drops the knife on the papers and goes out.)
A room with two doors-left, right-, and two windowsbehind and in front. Backside, in a spotlight, a landscape with hills, mountains, settlements (mioritic space). Spotlight on a garbage can under a sink. A character (The Dog) searches in it.
THE DOG: This people should have been at Hollywood if I had been acting Mioritza. That's it, nothing to do now... This way were the acts... (searching and scattering packings aside the can). The life-dog has an advantage: to be happy like a human you have to content yourself with what a mouse usually eats; thus, if one wants to be king, one has to like slaves food. That is to say... he who eats a little and loves his homeland is free. It is only for the stomach that one can go in another country... Here there are woods of green fir-trees and... and... (reading) Parmalat, Vatra Dornei, La Vache qui Rit, liver pie, liver pie, liver pie... what have I done to you Prometheus... Zarea,Murfatlar, Bohotin, and... and... (The bottom of the can)... a book (stands up, cleans the book, skims through). I've got a book... you are digging and digging and you find... a book (goes away reading rarely). Preparing food... the same duration as eating it... Hm... Don't eat dirty food, which smears your hands... Hm... (A wolf howls away)... Don't eat horse bean... (A wolfhowls).
(The Dog goes away into the darkness in the landscape backside. He remains over there, rolling up, with his book. From time to time, when he interferes in the action of the play, a powerful spotlight falls on him.)
(Light in the entire room. Scarcely furnished-the mainpiece is an iron bed, in the middle of the room. A gas stove with a pot on it. Some photos on the walls. A chair. A table. In front of the stage, three chairs. Sitting on: The Producer, The Stage-manager and The Scriptwriter.)
THE PRODUCER: Mister Stage-Manager, I didn't want to... believe me that my money... that money, generally speaking... I didn't believe that the simple...
THE STAGE-MANAGER: I've directed plays all overthe world. Yes! (Counting) On six continents-all those the Earth has, hasn't it? And it is round, isn't it? Like a pear... well... yes, what was I saying? Yes! I've never seen something like this. You say "no way, mister" and "mister janitor" and "mister principal" and "mister director" and "mister president" and "Mister Prince of Walachia" and even with Jesus Christ... and "our mister God" and... and... It's a folly! A kind of thinking... mister! A language... mister...
THE SCRIPTWRITER: Come on, you are a Romanian, too. At least at origins. Here is your mother, your ma, your fuckin' ma... If I am allowed to say this, even if you live abroad.
THE STAGE-MANAGER: I didn't say that. I'm Romanian too. That's the problem: I'm Romanian. You write scripts, you have to be interested in biographies. You know all about me, more precisely what I wanted the people to know, but no... Yes, what I really had to say?!... Yeah... Look here (Turning to the Producer) If we have to have a relationship, and it is necessary to have it, please put me directly on the top of the ladder and call me "Mister". Sooo... With a smooth sigh and piety.
(The Producer doesn't know what to believe. He didn't figure the discussion would turn this way)
THE SCRIPTWRITER: You should call me Sire, or Prince... No, no, Prince is better... the one with Mister, mister, it's for... anybody. Yesss, ha, ha, ha... Sire! Yes!
THE PRODUCER: What about me?
THE STAGE MANAGER: Simple. Your own name: Peter.
THE SCRIPTWRITER: Patrice, Peter, Patrick the Matrick.. Hi,hi, hi... Patrick the Matrick.
THE STAGE MANAGER: And I've noticed something else concerning you, the Romanians: you are never on time. I think it was the way you won the battles. You announced an hour and came much later, when the Turks were already bored, ruined by their waiting for you. For instance, where is Andrew, the pioneer, the warship. Where is he? It's past ten! Where's Andrew, the big talent? He's lucky he's talented. He knows his second fiddle. That's your luck: you are a talented people..
THE PRODUCER (doesn't understand, whispering) That's it, My Lord, this is our bad luck.
THE SCRIPTWRITER: Andrew doesn't even know the script. We'd better act with dumb. But, sorry (to the Stage Manager) why do you speak, from your position, like a cab driver who calls you then Mister, and suddenly Sir, and then swears like a trooper! Otherwise, that is to speak, why do you speak about Romanians either with "you" or with "we" or "us" or "ours"... You have a double personality... (scholarly) or redoubled or... or... what the hell!
THE STAGE MANAGER: Nought! You don't understand. It's a mystery. Something deep. A mystery..I
THE PRODUCER: I always write down the mysteries. Don't bother... To remain... The script remains.
THE SCRIPTWRITER: Write down, Patrick, write down whatever you want. If you think this is a mystery, write it down. Be confident in writing!
THE PRODUCER: There were the words Mister... Miss... Oh, My Lord, Stage manager!
THE SCRIPTWRITER (laughs sharply) Lord-Miss-StageManager, do you read me! (laughs) Soon you are going to call him'Misses Stage manager! Hey, you transsexuals, you never stop!
THE STAGE MANAGER: A little respect (coughs) This is what you lack (crescendo) respect. Punctuality, respect, good sense, spirit of justice, balance, tolerance, welfare, game, truth, liberty, equality, fraternity. . . you lack. And of course, respect (screaming) Respect!
THE PRODUCER: One can learn a lot in life...
THE SCRIPTWRITER: You're right: my girl friend is at a striptease course. She takes off her clothes in a way you feel sorry for her. I've taught my brother to die. The first time he died he acted like an amateur. He dropped suddenly. .. aside and snorted a little. .. Lamentably. Now he does it with imagination and abnegation like professionals. I once taught two stones to speak, but they talked too faintly and I couldn't hear them. What did they want to say?! Well... we are going to find out.
THE STAGE MANAGER: Learn to listen! All can be learnt, what do you think, Peter? (Peter approves, sad because he's misconstrued)
THE SCRIPTWRITER: I would like to teach people to love each other. The women need this so much... A wardrobe with instruments... Some stuff...
THE STAGE MANAGER: Hey, don't ramble. That's it, you have too much energy, you relaxed too much. Sometimes I think you have grown up among a chandelier's arms. You don't understand too well the human nature.
THE SCRIPTWRITER: Either nature, or human! Do you think humanity is the long hand of animality, that the dolphins will soon build submarine temples because they swim around ships where humans pray? There isn't any link between plants, animals and humans. First of all because plants and animals were banished from Paradise! Nature didn't know sin, humans did! The sin exists only for man, and so do death and guilt. For the animals..:
THE STAGE MANAGER: Pssss! I heard a door!
THE PRODUCER: Andrew is coming!
THE STAGE MANAGER (coming to; imperially) Let him in!
THE PRODUCER (to the Script Writer): Sire, are you so kind as to give me a copy ofthe script, so as I might understand what the matter is?
THE SCRIPTWRITER: Leave it. Just watch and remember!
THE STAGE MANAGER: He's right. You have to pay attention to everything you have a good memory. If we give you a copy, I'm sure you'll forget it somewhere. You know you have a bad memory! You're down with the memory, that's all. It's your problem: you forget everything... forget... forget... But he's very tired, this Andrew! He's already tired. He's badly tired. Badly... badly... Yeah, anyhow... We are goingto start (makes a sign)
(Soft music. Some children sing "Sleepy Birds" on the music of the anthem "Grow Wise, Romanian." Enters Andrew. He's lying on the bed, eyes open. Remains there. The song is getting to an ending and changes into a TV credit title like at ProTv, Antena l, etc., morning broadcast. News. News. News.)
(A guy enters the right door, he has a newspaper under the ann and a cup of coffee in his hand. He puts the cup on the table, sits on the chair, opens the newspaper. Meanwhile a wind is starting to blow in front of him. It is very difficult for him to struggle on. He begins a battle with the newspaper, with the everyday life (the news bulletin suggests the fight with daily hardships). The newspaper fits closely to his body, to his face. The wind is stronger. The guy falls down on his knees… He tries to escape. He cannot peel the paper off him. He stifles, falls down, dies. He remains down, lying on his back, dead. The wind takes the newspaper off the stage. A spotlight on the steaming untouched coffee)
(Enter two housewives, Housewife 1 and Housewife 2, carrying heavy bags. They enter the left door, go to the gas stove, put the bags down nearby, take two knives, start cutting vegetables and throw them in the pot. Andrew remains on the bed, eyes open.)
H1 (cutting a pepper): Everything is too expensive nowadays: red peppers - five thousand...
H2 (doesn't understand very well): Have you bought five thousand red peppers? What do you want to do with them? (Laughs)
H1 (with pity): Five thousand lei, you... You were wool-gathering again. You think only at soap operas...
H2 (cutting a cucumber): These cucumbers are... are... you know (she proposes a sexual use of them and laughs)Mmmmmm, uffff. . .
H1: You are really nice! How funny! I laugh so much with you! If I'd been with Banderas, I wouldn 't laugh so much.
H2: Yes, but... (bursts out laughing, showing her the cucumber) You know how things are with Banderas ... It 's not a game ... Ohhh... Ohhh... School is starting again and we haven't got shoes for the children... Autumn is coming... like a... pickled-s'nack (laughs) We haven't enough money to pay for the taaaaxes, hot waaaater...winnnnter will be very nice.
H1: At least your children in the islands are sending you money, what about me..., What can I say, I have only one daughter to marry, 'and she 's pregnant...
H2: Hey, dear, it's hard in Tenerife too. (laughs) It's hard anywheeeere, inAmeeeerica too, and in Geeeeeermany tooooo, in Austraaaaalia toooo... (singing)
Gimmie a Kent, I'm coming from the Occident (laughs) If you want to succeed in life... Take the gums and stay at the, maaaarket ...
(Enter two guys dressed in black and take the corpse of the guy killed by the newspaper and drag it off the stage.A spotlight - a light backside )
THE DOG (in a strong voice): To die where you were born (a wolfhowls. The dog enters in darkness again)
The Housewives are cutting some more vegetables, talking faintly. Enter two guys with beer pints in their hands. The pints are attached by their, hands with chains. They sit down at the table, put the pints on the table-the chains are clanging. Attention and light focus onthem, H1 and H2 finish their work and go out while the two are discussing (Basil and George)
BASIL: I believe the only solution is fo sew it, to keep its feathers together, then to use a vacuum cleaner. Now its feathers are flying all -over...
GEORGE: It's not a bad idea... But since you mentioned it, why don't our governers find any solution for the country, for us…
BASIL: They 'd find it quite quickly, like a gravy for instance, or a dilution of Green Paris. But they fear the women. Women and children. It's them who made the revolution!
GEORGE: Is it a joke or somethin '...Basil, you 're joking but, you ain't laughing... How can people see you're joking?
BASIL (raising a finger): Listen to me. What is, is, unless what it is.
GEORGE: It's about the guverners, isn't it? Or it's ajoke...Really, I don't understand, man. You didn't laugh!
BASIL: How can I laugh, George, when the morass and the jackass are fighting outside. Moral morass and economical jackass, economical morass and moral jackass, hell knows who's bigger, man. It's collapse! Really! Prosit! What do you think, can we get out of the crisis? Can we avoid the transition?
GEORGE: Prosit! (drinking) What's that, transition, man?
BASIL: Well, it's like this: you sit on a chair, eating a sour soup thrust the spoon in the soup and raise it to the mouth. You see? Transition is the way between them.
GEORGE: And how can we avoid it?
BASIL: Rightside! According to the rule!
GEORGE: Hey, Basil, you didn't laugh... again... 't was a joke? Really, I don 't know, man, I don't figure it out..
(Spotlight-a lightening backside.)
THE DOG: A sleeping man is the brother of a dead man! Democracy ends when bed people join the Parliament. Beware of living among the people if you love freedom (a wolfhowls)
BASIL (shouting over the shoulder): George is a lesbian!
GEORGE (laughing): Yes, I like it, 't was a joke, ha, ha! 's good, mister Basil, good, man. It was a joke, wasn't it?
(At the window, in the back, a ladder appears. A guy (suit, tie) climbs on it. Takes a nail out of his pocket, then a hammer and beats the nail in the window frame. He admires his work, then leaves. Basil and George, who have been watching the guy all the time, resume their conversation )
BASIL: Really, George, what did you do during the revolution?
GEORGE: I don't remember, I think I was ill, a cold, man. I drank tea, watched TV. When i'm ill...
BASIL: You've forgotten! We were st the Golden Rooster having a beer!
GEORGE: Yes! You're right! And a housewife had shouted at the window: Did ours wina? and you said: Which of them are ours? Yes, yes... it was ajoke, wasn't it?
BASIL: 't was hard, but gr-eat. It's O.K. that people reconstructed their hope. People ask in the villages: who s governing now? They are very curious. Curious, active, optimist.
(Through the right door enters a "street girl" with a big cassette player. Market music. She makes two-three steps then puts down the cassette player. She moulds her stockings with lascivious gestures. Basil and George watch her enthusiastically. Her handbag slips off the shoulder and falls down. She takes the cassette player and goes out left door. Through the same door enters a woman dressed in blue overall, a housekeeper. She start to sweep. Basil and George wach her a moment and, fed up with her, return to their beers.)
THE HOUSEKEEPER: Thats it: garbage, boxes. I've just seen a movie with a ship sailing towards a continent of boxes which, seen from above, was America... Thats it... one comes out. of the house and gather some leaves... until eventually he falls down on them... The liver, the liver crumbles first... (she's stumbling over the handbag, takes it, finds it uninteresting, hangs it in the nail from the window frame. Sweeps across the stage. From the backside the "street girl" and the guy with the nail enter together. They seem very affectionate to one another. The same cassette music. They go out the door on the right)
(Spotlight-a lightening backside )
THE DOG: Zamolxis, I would like a cup of tea!Ask Milon how could he carry an ox on his back. He is going to answer: carrying it every day since the day he was born!No sugar! The Earth gave birth to the sky. (a wolfhowls)
(On the ladder climb The President. The Dliver, The Senator, Mrs. Nina, The Little Girl)
THE PRESIDENT (arranging his clothes, while the others pull the ladder inside): Right, take it inside to wipe out the traces. (to The Driver) Give me the keys to the helicopter, I wanna be sure. I hope nobody is playing with the propeller again. (The Driver makes a sign meaning no, of course no, no way) Yeah... That s it: let them drink a lot of, Coca-Cola! That's all!
MRS. NINA: Life is useless without love. Where there is power, there is no love. Where there is love, power cannot last. (she notes something as if her thoughts continue in writing). .
THE PRESIDENT (tying his shoe laces, his leg on Andrew's hip): Mister Senator, the figures! .
THE SENATOR: Index: 3,14,8%,5.3, 8vs 10, 7j!s 5,6,17...
THE PRESIDENT (arranging his tie): Elections... Come on, Senator, time is money... The elections!
THE SENATOR : 18%,.J 0%, 5%, 15%, 6%, and the rest doesn't count. It s O.K., Mr. President, we don't make sacrifices for nothing!
THE PRESIDENT: It is good the peasants have begun to understand!
(The Senator and Mrs. Nina pull the ladder inside. They carry it across the stage and take it out through the front - window.)
THE LITTLE GIRL: I would like to get married, dad. I would like to get rid of all these ones.
THE PRESIDENT (caresses her, laughing): Take it easy, take it easy. (To the others) Girls! (caresses her) Take care when you get off: sometimes it is harder to get off then to get in. That s the entire philosophy. All these days are going to pass like life does... That s it! We entered history!
THE SENATOR (with a hand on the ladder): Are we going out?
THE PRESIDENT (coming to): Yes, yes. Come on. (solemnly) Women and children first!
MRS. NINA: I don't know why, but I feel in this place like Snow-White in a house with seven dead dwarves.
THE LITTLE GIRL: I'm feeling like Alice in a land where no wonder,happens.
THE PRESIDENT (sympathetically): Yeah. Come on. We're leaving. Leave it now, boys, come on...
(They descend the ladder towards the audience with difficulty, canging on their conversation.)
THE PRESIDENT: I felt all right, really. Unfortunately it was a little draughty, such a draught....
THE LITTLE GIRL: I don't want to go back, daddy.
THE PRESIDENT: What can I do, that it. .
MRS. NINA: I wonder what he had in the pot on the gas stove.
THE SENATOR: A soup, a goulash... somethin'
THE PRESIDENT: Don't mind it. It is all right, we saw him.! Now we can stay still for a while. We are going in a trip or: somewhere, only us.'
(They take the ladder and go out. Spotlight - a lightening backside.)
THE DOG: Zamolxis! Let all the gods who are sleeping in the shadow of the Cross be waken up. Family is the nest of liberty. Send the gods on Earth as Man's friends and Man won't be alone anymore. Do you have a wife? She is your world! Do you have a friend? He is the god! (a wolf howls)
(At the table Basil and George begin to sing: a blues. A guy enters from the left, in a black overall, black hat, speaking to a mobile phone. On the right door, speaking with him on the mobile phone, enters a woman, with long blond hair, black clothes. They are Inspector Manole and Inspector Alice, the ones who took out the corpse of the guy killed by the newspaper.)
MANOLE (scowling, looking around, inquisitive, lifts a little the bed sheet on the bed where Andrew is lying, speaks on the mobile phone): And how much did you say this thing cost?
ALICE (entering on the right door, her mobile phone at the ear): Six hundred dollars it s not much if you think of it a little. Full services. And don't forget: it's Antalia. Sea, sand, sun (starts dancing a turkish dance on the sad music of Basil and George)
(Alice dances ironically on the two guys' blues and they stop singing when they see Manole, a little frightened. They stand up respectfully. Embarassed. They go out.)
ALICE: This is it, mister inspector-in-chief the money circulate in another way over there (they stand back to back, turn around, face to face, look at each other, search the room. They go on speaking on the mobile phones. Then, Alice lifts the pot lid and the steam dissipates around)
MANOLE: Paris is splendid, Miss Alice. If we can gofor an inspection there... (laughs)
ALICE: I think we should pay attention here, to this pot. (smells)
MANOLE (becomes attentive): Don't poke your little nose. Its hot! We have modern methods. (switches the mobile phone to the net) I need Mathew, we've got the object!
(After a short while enters a guy, same clothes, gas mask, mobile phone. Speaks with difficulty through the mask. Mathew comes near the pot with a sliver in his hand. Alice keeps the lid aside with a towel. Mathew searches inside with the sliver.)
MANOLE (takes a sheet of paper he sees next the bed, reads loudly): Dear death... (looking oddly to the bed where Andrew is lying cowered)... I'm writing you in a hurry because over here is a big excitement and telegraphically because I desire that my information, be synthetical, seasonable and correct. Well, that's the situation over here. (Reading in a hurry in his mind.) Yes, yes, yes! Yeah, hy, hy, hm, hm... (Puts the paper in the pocket, turns to the others.) I think this guy is Death's informer on the Earth.
MATHEW (searching into the pot): Here we have got everything!
ALICE (looking into the pot): Yes, really, a cucumber, too, and...
MANOLE (cell-phones): Need John with the writing-tablet.
(Left door enters John, same clothes, cell-phone at the ear. Wears a big girdle that carry a tablet on which he can write only with a hand. Stands behind the others.)
MATHEW (cell-phones): Cucumbers..
MANOLE (broadcasting): Write down john cucumbers.
JOHN: Cu-cum-bers... Done.
JOHN (is writing): Red-pep-pers. Done.
MATHEW (pulling out a piece with the sliver): Mild-peppers!
JOHN: Big peep-peeers. Written!
MATHEW: Tomatos, eggplants, onions, garlic. The whole Paradise. Just look over here. . .!
MANOLE: Tomatos, eggplants, onions, garlic. Somethin' else?
MATHEW: Zuchini, asparagus, lettuce (in a hurry), lovage, laurel, cloves, black-pepper, paprika, juniper...
JOHN: Take it easy... (writing down in a hurry) I can't write.
MANOLE (receiving a message): Yes, done. It's O.K., good enough, retreat!
(All leave. Alice pulls out a photo from the wall. Mathew takes a red-pepper in the sliver. Talking, then go out left-door. John is writing down all the time.
Nightfall. Backside, full moon. Andrew is standing up, relaxes himself, sits down on the bed's edge, head in his hands, as if he wants to come to. Makes some steps in the room, thinking.)
ANDREW (low voice): Godette, Godette, Godette. (Louder.) Godette, Godette. (Screaming.) Godette!!! Turn your self up! Give me a sign! Don't let the uselessness into
my love for you. Give me a sign! Gather the rope of this loneliness in the ball of the time to come. Turn up! Turn up like a music, like a spotlight, like a leaf dance in the springtime. Now I know that all is only a part from him. Waiting for it I becam, stronger. I'm ready. Turn up. Give me a sign! Let your young body be seen. Let your skin be fondled, your hair scented, your ear tasted. Turn yourself up! All the doors are opened.
(A wolf howls backside. The light is put off. Into the darkness)
THE DOG: Wet you cheek with a tear time to time, not to be too hard linked to life.Zalmoxis, prepare the bed sheets! (Wolf howls, far away)
(On the stage: objects that suggest couple - "The Kiss" by Brancusi, Ying and Yang etc. On a placard ritten: "Long live God!" Music: Wedding inarch (it increases till the end, eventually variations, in the end the THEME)
HE: Darling, I'm not a schizoftenic, I'm not a schizoftenic, I'm not a schizofrenic, ha, ha, ha, ho,ho, ho, hi, hi, hi! (Jumps on a leg, contorting himself.) I'm not a schizofrenic, I'm not a paranoic.
SHE (abruptly): I shouldn't think so...
HE: I'm happy, I'm happy... Neither schizo, nor paranoic...
SHE (trying to put some order): What are you?
HE (taking her by the shoulders): Do you have the idea what means this, darling? Today I've been at the hospital, talked with the doctors... Oh, God, after so many years... (Laughing.) It was a mistake, an error... Do you understand? It was an error... They mixed up the files! See? They mixed up the files! (Laughing) fi1les error, an organization error... I kissed them all. .. I forgave them, embraced them, danced with them (Howling) I'm allowed to have children, I may,do you mean? I can!
SHE (a hope on her face, but hard to believe): They mixed up the files...
HE (embraces her, dancing, then let her down): Yes, yes, yes,yes, they mixed the files up. . . Do you mean. .. I have the permission to make children, we can marry each other, darling, my sweetheart, we can have our home, our children, our life (down on the knees). Would you marry me?
SHE: Yes! Of course! I've already said... If we might have children. . ..
(A loud wedding march. Fragment. They are staying head to head tight together. Music ending. Remain like a statue.)
SHE (low, sweet voice, but frightened): And what's written in your file?
HE: Oh... nothing to write home about... yes, yes... alcohol addict... nothing to...
(Her face is brightened up. He's happy. They remain like a statue over there on the stage.)
(He enters left door. Drops his hand bag and uses the "statue" as if would be a peg. Hangs his coat on a finger, let his hat on a top's head. Walks around rubbing his palms. She enters with a paper-bag in her hand, make herself comfortable, pulls out something from the bag.)
SHE: I payed a visit to my mother. She's not very well... Gave me some pickled snack, some potatoes...
HE (excited): Darling (embracing her)
SHE: What's the matter with you?
HE: Today they've been starting to repair the building. They' want to whitewash all. .. all... in the basement. .. in the cellar... in the archive room, too... All over!
SHE (arranging her clothes): And it is a reason to plunge on me?
HE (excited, wants to say more, in a hurry): I love you!
SHE: I'm very fond of you, too, we are brother and sister,...
HE: Sit down and listen to me. Precisely what I wanna say... Sit down... I went down in the archives and I found a secret file. It's all clear now. You ain't my sister, I'm not your brother. . .
SHE (surprised): No?
HE: No. My father, Basil Em. Coifan died in Baragan Field during the deportation. You see? (Happy, rubbing his palms) He died in Baragan Field.
SHE: Well, then he isn't...
HE: Ye-ees! My real father ain't the pensionable from the Agroindustry S.A. My father made me in a little forest where he lived that time, lived together with a woman. She brought him food time to time, Mary Ge. Barsanescu was her name, professor Barsanescu's daughter, deported too. My mother died during the colectivization (happy, popping up). She died during that period, do you get it? . .
SHE: Well, then she isn't...
HE: Yes, of course. The woman, that gave you the pickled-snack ,wasn't your mother! Pay attention: your father fought in the mountains against the system, against regime. There he met your real mother with whom he made you on a rock. Your real mother was shot in the head, somewhere at a sheepfold.
SHE (happy): She died?
HE: Of course she died. What do you think, could one have another chance, shot in the head? The shepherd from the sheepfold put your body into a basket and sent you down the river and from there she picked you up a woman called Foncea, maid of Proto popescu...
SHE (understanding, happy): Mis-ses Pro-to-po-pes-cu, the wo-man with the pi-ckled snack and po-ta-tos...
HE: Exactly, exactly, exactly! Married with Emil Protopopescu, after the death of his wife, Agatha Protopopescu, former Garbeu, in a car accident. The daughter. .. of the boyar... (makes some, gestures meaning love affair, couple).
(He, sits on a chair, tired after so many explanations. She stands, finally understands, then plunges into his arms.)
SHE: Finally, we can live together as husband and wife.
HE: Of course, darling. It's the end of the incest. We'll go to the church.
SHE: Oh, my dear.
(They are kissing each other, are embracing, then remain there like a statue. Enters the housekeeper-black dress. white lace etc. Dusts the objects and the two couples. The other door, enters the driver-boots, cap etc.).
HOUSEKEEPER (observing the driver): Do you have the cheek to look at me?
DRIVER: Louise, I'm very fond of you, I wanna be with you.
HOUSEKEEPER: I can't be with a thief ( dusting). I've been coming from a poor and honest family. My mother told me...
DRIVER (takes his cap, puts it under his arm): I'm honest, too, dear, though not so poor as you want... But, maybe if we'll be together...
HOUSEKEEPER (sincerely, tears in her eyes): You're a thief!
DRIVER: It's not true! This morning the master found the carburetter. . .
HOUSEKEEPER (attentive. happy): Yes? How? Where?
DRIVER: Under his pillow. He took it out, cleaned it, blew off the jigler, controlled the canals, put it under his pillow and forgot it there!
HOUSEKEEPER: Well, you didn't steal it! (Coming and dustinghim.)
DRIVER: Of course not! The master forgot it. You know, he has so many problems...
HOUSEKEEPER (attentive): Yes? What kind of problems? (Embracing him.)
DRIVER (taking her by the shoulders): You know, the war in Afganistan, The little one is having school graduation and he is not exactly a scholar, it seems that Inikians hide some chemical weapons, the lady wants to start drinking, the cuban illegil export of havanas. . .
HOUSEKEEPER: Oh, my dear, how many things happen in the world...
DRIVER: It's O.K., we're together. We'll be all right. Do you want to be my wife?
HOUSEKEEPER: Yes! (wedding march)
(Right door enter The Fisherman. Dark-greensuit, gum long boots, rucksack, prepares his fishing-rod)
THE FISHERMAN (wrepped up in thoughts): God damn, I try all the baits (preparing his fishing-rod to angle). With vobler, twister, blinker, expandat, hedgehog, worm, com-shack... all the baits, hell.. if I don't catch something... (Angles the rope into an imaginary lake, prepares the angles putting it on the driver 's knee, using him as a willow. Pulls out a little chair from the rucksack, sits down, waiting for...)
THE FISHERMAN: I'm striking them. Hell, pieces, pieces, pieces... Danger! Danger, man! Cool! Now I'm striking them, I've tried all the baits. Daaanger! Look, it takes it... Danger! (takes the angle beginning to turn the thread) If I catch a big one I'm going to carry out to it three desires... Daaanger!... Pieeeeces!
(Enters a wet guy with a baits-lace around his neck. The Fisherman remains without a word, thunderstruck, vexed)
GOD OF THE LAKE: I'm the god of the lake, why do you stare on me? Have you heard about me? (unbinds the baits-lace shaking offthe water and algae.)
THE FISHERMAN: The God of the Lake? Never heard about. Wow, god damn', danger! The God of the Lake! I've heard about the Fairy of the Lake!...
THE GOD OF THE LAKE: It's me... you know... we change the sex in the period of reproduction... for procreation... with whom can a fairy make children? With herself, namely myself! With the god of the lake. Time to time, I save some tourists from drowning. Now's prohibition. Why do you angle?
THE FISHERMAN: I always angle, but I catch nothing. I'm desperate.
THE GOD OF THE LAKE: But what's with all this angling?
THE FISHERMAN: I wanna catch a lot of fish, wanna sell them, get a lot of money, being rich. . .
THE GOD OF THE LAKE: You wanna be rich... O.K., I'm going to show you the shortcut (takes the fishing rod, throws the rope, waits for).
THE FISHERMAN: It bites!
THE GOD OF THE LAKE: Of course it bites... if one knows how and where... (turns the rope, bringing on the stage the two housewives with full bags in their hands.)
H1: Wow, you've caught us!
H2 (next to The Fisherman): How nice you've caught us! We'd lost any hope. We'd begun to...
H1 (laughing, in The Fisherman 's arms): ... to get cold. It's cold over there onto the lake.
THE FISHERMAN (embracing H1): That's it! Let finish with the baits, the freeze on the pond, the cold nights. Soup, sour-soup, goulash...
(Wedding march. They remain like statues of couples, of the marriage...
Enters Simon with an axe-shaped guitar. Sits down and sings:"Red rose, English rose of Cairo
Died in a morning
In Reghin was thursday, market day
The camera was cold on the tripod
Nearby, colder, away, far away
Dody AI Fayed stayed
Lady Di arranged her hair with paparazzi
Just to go just to see Mother Teresa."
(Enters a girl dressed in black, cell-phone, listens to the music, dances on the rhythm. She comes next to Simon after she puts her clothes everywhere on the other couples.)
INSPECTOR ALICE: Did you sing so nice? I've been listen ingto you for a long time... You stay at five, isn't it? Oh, God, it's a long time since I've longed to know you...
SIMON (singing): I'm the author of these wonderful tunes. They were written and sung only for you…
INSPECTOR ALICE: Do you know me?
SIMON (singing): Yes, I know you / Yes, I want you / To be / - only for me.
(Alice is embracing him from his back meanwhile Simon is singing the wedding march. They turn to stone, like the others on the stage. Enter The Script Writer and The Little Girl. He bends a little and explains)
THE SCRIPT WRITER: ... I am going to tell you something, but don't laugh.
THE LITTLE GIRL: I won't. . .
THE SCRIPT WRITER: Promise me you won't laugh! Come on, promise me.
THE LITTLE GIRL: O.K, I promise, I won't laugh.
THE SCRIPT WRITER: Well, It wasn 't me who killed your father.
THE LITTLE GIRL: It wasn't?
THE SCRIPTWRITER: No?
THE LITTLE GIRL: Then we can be together
THE SCRIPTWRITER: Wait.. wait...don't hury...
THE LITTLE GIRL: No, I don't want to stay. Enough!
She takes The Script Writer by the hand and pulls him down on his knees. Drops on her knees, takes her scarf and ties it around their hands.Wedding march. Stone-stillness.
All the other characters enter and arrange themselves in suggestive couples.
Enters a woman followed by explosions. She plunges down on the stage, crawling among the couples as if they were trees. The Stage manager enters through the open door. He is all confuse. He follows her from tree to tree. He watches her crawling. he jumps on her back. Takes her hand, wrings it to her back. Puts a ring in a finger. Photocouple
Enters Peter guiding a woman. They dance a menuet Loving glances, attentive gestures. He bends his head and she strikes his nape. Peter falls down, she mounts him and unfurls a flag with two rings.
Enters Mathew, in suit, shirt, tie, shorts, leggings, sport shoes and juggles a ball. A woman aplauds him and comes near him with a big sheaf of onions in her hands. They turn around to the audience. She is the bride with the big sheaf of onions instead of flowers, he is the bridegroom with a foot gloriously put on the ball.
Enters John with some books in his arms, meets a short girl (intellectual, with spectacles). Tries to embrace her. She is too short, it is ridiculous. He puts three books under her feet.. She climbs. It is not enough. John puts three more thick books. She climbs on top and they can embrace happily. Photo-couple.
The wedding march theme reaches a climax. Doors, windows are opened, a powerful wind. A few lights on the stage. The light fades, soft and reddish. Thunders, wolfhowls. Two spotlights left stage and right stage, between them the couples. Andrew and Godette enter in the spotlights.
Andrew sees Godette and tries to reach her, full of hope. The couples are like a wall. Godette tries the same thing without succeeding (there can be rope nets, cellophane, etc. among the couples).
The lights are put out on past, present and future actions. Unfinished.
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